Famous Quotes & Sayings

Carre Otis

Though my parents assured me over and over again that I wasn't stupid or slow, I sensed that my dyslexia was now a stigma on all of us.

Carlos Mencia

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

Carlos Mencia

The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

Carl Bernstein

For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norms, even our cultural ideal.

Agnes Varda

I just didn't see films when I was young. I was stupid and naïve. Maybe I wouldn't have made films if I had seen lots of others; maybe it would have stopped me.

Charles E. Wilson

No plan can prevent a stupid person from doing the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time - but a good plan should keep a concentration from forming.

Charles de Lint

Ghosts were just a way that some stupid people dealt with their dull lives.

Charles Caleb Colton

There are some frauds so well conducted that it would be stupidity not to be deceived by them.

Ricky Gervais

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

Alan Thicke

If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well.

Charlie Chaplin

Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked.

Charlie Chaplin

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Aaron Spelling

One thing my wife says is bad about me is that I still care too much.

Aaron Spelling

I love my wife, she deserves anything and everything.

Alan Titchmarsh

I never get bored of my wife. It's lovely.

Charles Caleb Colton

Wit may do very well for a mistress, but [I] should prefer reason for a wife.

Brian Clough

My wife says OBE stands for Old Big 'Ead.

Boris Karloff

My wife has good taste. She has seen very few of my movies.

Don Adams

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.

Dave Chappelle

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

Dave Barry

You can be the smartest person in the world - which Bill Clinton is, and if he's not, his wife is - and care more than anybody else in the world - which he does, I don't doubt that for a minute. And you can care so much that you're willing to be dishonest - you can tell people one thing but do another because you really know it's for their own good. And you'll still screw it all up. Because the whole premise of what you're doing is wrong!