Famous Quotes & Sayings

Alan Hansen

I always wanted to be a golfer, only I realised that if I'd played golf I would have been skint.

David Leadbetter

Is there such a thing as a technically perfect swing? If there is, I have yet to see it.

David Leadbetter

Your final goal is to convert your athletic swing to pure instinct rather than conscious thought.

Dave Barry

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

Dave Barry

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.

Dave Barry

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

Dave Barry

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Dave Barry

Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Buddy Hackett

Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.

David Sedaris

I see you that have a little swimming mouse

Bruno Tonioli

I think a lot of people have a vision of L.A. in which TV executives and movie directors plan their latest productions by the swimming pool.

Eddie Marsan

I went swimming the other day and my wife was watching and she said, 'You know, it's funny, it's when you've got no clothes on, no one recognizes you.' I said, 'What are you saying? That I should do more love scenes?

Eddie Izzard

I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.

David Duchovny

Sometimes when I'm swimming, I think that maybe someday I'll put my red Speedo up for auction. Or maybe I'll donate it to the Smithsonian. They can stuff it with two plums and a gherkin and put it on display.

Denis Waitley

Losers let it happen; winners make it happen!

Denis Leary

Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?

Dick Cavett

There were several things a Yale freshman was supposed to be able to do. You had to demonstrate in the Olympic-size Yale pool that you could swim 50 yards or be inducted into swimming class.

Diana Nyad

I think I'm going to my grave without swimming from Cuba to Florida,

Charles Caleb Colton

False reasoners are often best confuted by giving them the full swing of their own absurdities.

Buddy Rich

But primarily, the drummer's supposed to sit back there and swing the band.

Charles Krauthammer

For liberals, the observation that 'the peasants are revolting' is a pun. For conservatives, it is cause for uncharacteristic optimism. No matter how far the ideological pendulum swings in the short term, in the end the bedrock common sense of the American people will prevail.

Eddie Izzard

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?

David Duval

I slowly continued to compensate for the physical problems I was having and ended up completely destroying my swing, my set-up, my posture. Everything was gone.

Arnold Palmer

Swing your swing. I know, I did.

Ed Gillespie

Politics swings like a pendulum.

Carlos Beltran

I like to be aggressive. I like to swing the bat.

Charlie Parker

I don't care who likes it or buys it. Because if you use that criterion, Mozart would never have written Don Giovanni, Charlie Parker would have never played anything but swing music.