Famous Quotes & Sayings

Alan Bennett

Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin

Chris Brown

My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing.

Chloe Grace Moretz

My mom won't let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it's TK Maxx or a birthday occasion.

David Sedaris

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

Dave Barry

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

Dave Barry

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Dave Barry

Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!

Dave Barry

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

Catherine Bell

The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new.

Charles Simmons

He who feasts every day, feasts no day.

Dave Barry

In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess.

Catherine Bertini

We need a new definition of malnutrition. Malnutrition means under- and over-nutrition. Malnutrition means emaciated and obese.

Bryan Q. Miller

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill.

Kathleen Blanco

The power is out, the phones are down and there is no food or water, and many trees are down.

Niger Innis

The slaves had food stamps, too. It was called 'scraps from Massa's table.'

Kurt Vonnegut

It is harder to be unhappy when you are eating.

Ed Begley, Jr.

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.

David Hume

Virtue, like wholesome food, is better than poisons, however corrected.

Ewen Bremner

As parents, I think we're always novices, and every day presents a new challenge.

Alessandra Ambrosio

My little girl, Anja, is really excited. We had a baby shower yesterday and she took the presents from everyone for me and was telling them, 'No, it's my baby.'

Darin Lee

Murphysboro presents a whole different challenge. It's going to be a very, very tough sectional.

Michael Watkins

I think the superintendent makes the recommendation, presents it and we vote on it.

Jim Crews

They switch some, they play a little zone, they play man. They look different all the time. That presents problems.