Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Jane Fonda

Someone once said that under the bell jar of compliance, the only thing that blooms is rage.

Denise Morrison

My parents had job jars because my father would say, 'Kids today have too much time, too much money and no responsibility. You're going to have no time, no money and a lot of responsibility.'

Gail Porter

Mmm, I love Yoda. I didn't like Jar Jar Binks though, he was all wrong.

Frank Sinatra

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Homer

If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

Ivy Compton-Burnett

At a certain point my novels set. They set just as hard as that jam jar. And then I know they are finished.

Neil Gaiman

[I spent] much of my time reminding Matt Groening that I really need to be a head in a jar on Futurama.

Pablo Neruda

Like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness, and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.

Cervantes Saavedra

All music jars when the soul is out of tune