Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mike Birbiglia

When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate.

Tracy Morgan

So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent. In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent, ... In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Maria Bamford

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.

Norm MacDonald

I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on.

Frank Mastalerz

We're going to look like we're guilty of something when it's just comedians and vaudeville dancing.

Chuck Palahniuk

I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience.

Aziz Ansari

You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. It's the hardest thing.

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carlos Pena, Jr.

Here's the thing, back in the day, a lot of guys would make fun of me, that I would sing and dance, that I was a cheerleader. But I kept my head on straight. I had goals.

Carlos Delgado

If you can't smile and have fun, you're in trouble. So if somebody in the stands says hello, I'm going to say hello back. Why shouldn't I? I know what I'm doing in this game. I'm still going to be ready to hit when I step in the box.

Carlos Delgado

Work is not a drag for me. I like to get here early, hang out, catch up with the boys. I'll go in the cage and hit, do my exercises. I try to keep it fun and find ways to enjoy it.

Carlos Mencia

Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.

Carl Bernstein

We are in the process of creating what deserves to be called the idiot culture. Not an idiot sub-culture, which every society has bubbling beneath the surface and which can provide harmless fun; but the culture itself. For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norm, even our cultural ideal.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

C. S. Lewis

Whatever he says, let his inner resolution be not to bear whatever comes to him, but to bear it 'for a reasonable period'--and let the reasonable period be shorter than the trial is likely to last. It need not be much shorter; in attacks on patience, chastity, and fortitude, the fun is to make the man yield just when (had he but known it) relief was almost in sight.

Bob Young

Whenever something like that happens, it's always a function of poor organization less than poor talented people.

Thomas P.M. Barnett

Transnational terrorism, in the form of the Salafi Jihadist movement, is fundamentally a function of globalization.

Brian Wilson

If there's not love present, it's much, much harder to function. When there's love present, it's easier to deal with life.

David Denby

Entertaining the reader is a good function.

Brian Kernighan

90% of the functionality delivered now is better than 100% delivered never.

Kate Bush

I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being.

Bill Gates

Customer service will become the primary value added function of every business.

Gary Weiss

Short-sellers perform a useful function in the market as conduits of negative information, and shorts often complain that they are discriminated against by regulators.

Esa-Pekka Salonen

Los Angeles is just a more open place. The way L.A. functions is that people give you a forum. They say, Show us what you can do.

Charles Caleb Colton

Those who have resources within themselves, who can dare to live alone, want friends the least, but, at the same time, best know how to prize them the most. But no company is far preferable to bad, because we are more apt to catch the vices of others than their virtues, as disease is far more contagious than health.

Louis Zamperini

'Unbroken' was published as a help to society.

Laura Wade

We're not going to create a more equal society by not prodding at it, are we?

Charles Lamb

He might have proved a useful adjunct, if not an ornament to society.

John Roberts

Trivial facts are often the best hints to what is going on.

Brian Aldiss

Why had I become a writer in the first place? Because I wasn't fit for society; I didn't fit into the system.

Demetri Martin

I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.

Edith Wharton

Society soon grows used to any state of things which is imposed upon it without explanation.

Eleanor Roosevelt

The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.