![I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and all that type of bullshit, going up there and doing a flat 20 [minutes]. I reckon I'd have better stagecraft and presence than Jesus. Yea, I'm a better stand-up comedian than Jesus, so I reckon I could go on after him.](/assets/img/quote-photos/i-wouldnt-mind-gigging-around-the-same-era-as-jesus-after-he-gives-his-speech-a.jpg)
Related Quotes
jesus cunning disciple
Taking things not as they ought to be, but as they are, I fear it must be allowed that Macchiavelli will always have more disciples than Jesus. Charles Caleb Colton
jesus mean winning
...I do not say, Don't play games or cricket and so forth. By all means play and enjoy them, giving thanks to Jesus for them. Only take care that games do not become an idol to you as they did to me. What good will it do to anybody in the next world to have been the best player that ever has been? And then think of the difference between that and winning souls for Jesus. Charles Studd
jesus wall sea
Christ wants not nibblers of the possible, but grabbers of the impossible, by faith in the omnipotence, fidelity, and wisdom of the Almighty Saviour Who gave the command. Is there a wall in our path? By our God we will leap over it! Are there lions and scorpions in our way? We will trample them under our feet! Does a mountain bar our progress? Saying, 'Be thou cast into the sea,' we will march on. Soldiers of Jesus! Never surrender!
jesus giving joy
I cannot tell you what joy it gave me to bring the first soul to the Lord Jesus Christ. I have tasted almost all the pleasures that this world can give. I do not suppose there is one that I have not experienced, but I can tell you that those pleasures were as nothing compared to the joy that the saving of that one soul gave me.
jesus long heaven
Let us not glide through this world and then slip quietly into heaven, without having blown the trumpet loud and long for our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Let us see to it that the devil will hold a thanksgiving service in hell, when he gets the news of our departure from the field of battle.
jesus church ascension
The task of the Church after Jesus' resurrection and ascension was to proclaim the forgiveness of sins to all nations. Charles Stanley
jesus jesus-christ christ
Jesus is our Advocate before God.
jesus world way
God has ways of shaking the world when He is at work. He literally caused the ground to quake when Jesus died on the cross.
jesus heart able
The main thing to avoid being a casualty is simply this: to have a kind of intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ whereby you're able to hear God speak to your heart, you're sensitive to what He's saying to you to do, and that you're willing to be obedient to Him.
blessed men miracle
The greatest miracle that the Almighty could perform would be to make a bad man happy, even in heaven; he must unparadise that blessed place to accomplish it. In its primary signification, all vice--that is, all excess--brings its own punishment even here.
blessed beer bells
Precious to me—it is the Dinner Bell. Oh blessed Bell! Thou bringest beef and beer... Charles Stuart Calverley
blessed eye fire
Blessed are the peacemakers, and one sure way of peacemaking is to let the fire of contention alone. Neither fan it, nor stir it, nor add fuel to it, but let it go out by itself. Begin your ministry with one blind eye and one deaf ear. Charles Spurgeon
blessed sunshine wings
When we cannot see the sunshine of God's face, it is blessed to cower down beneath the shadow of his wings.
blessed essence soul
It is blessed to eat into the very soul of the Bible until the very essence of the Bible flows from you.
blessed needs care
There is no more blessed way of living, than the life of faith based upon a covenant-keepin g God - to know that we have no care, for He cares for us; that we need have no fear, except to fear Him; that we need have no troubles, because we have cast our burdens upon the Lord, and are conscience that He will sustain us.
blessed texas lucky
I feel like everyone who goes to The University of Texas is blessed and lucky to be there because they're getting a chance to be as good as they can be. Alan Bean
blessed has-beens
I have been blessed with working with the best in the business. Al Roker
blessed thinking space
So when we sing, 'Draw me nearer, nearer, blessed Lord,' we are not thinking of the nearness of place, but of the nearness of relationship. It is for increasing degrees of awareness that we pray, for a more perfect consciousness of the divine Presence. We need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. He is nearer than our own soul, closer than our most secret thoughts. Aiden Wilson Tozer
giving may novelty
Where we cannot invent, we may at least improve; we may give somewhat of novelty to that which was old, condensation to that which was diffuse, perspicuity to that which was obscure, and currency to that which was recondite.
giving enemy prudent
If you are under obligations to many, it is prudent to postpone the recompensing of one, until it be in your power to remunerate all; otherwise you will make more enemies by what you give, than by what you withhold.
giving credit world
Instead of exhibiting talent in the hope that the world would forgive their eccentricities, they have exhibited only their eccentricities, in the hope that the world would give them credit for talent.
giving opponents talent
He that gives a portion of his time and talent to the investigation of mathematical truth, will come to all other questions with a decided advantage over his opponents.
giving-up deep-water sea
Black are the brooding clouds and troubled the deep waters, when the Sea of Thought, first heaving from a calm, gives up its Dead Charles Dickens
giving missionary missions
True religion is like the smallpox. If you get it, you give it to others and it spreads.
giving may gift-giving
You may have the gift of giving.
giving-up believe belief
I have noticed that whenever a person gives up his belief in the Word of God because it requires that he should believe a good deal, his unbelief requires him to believe a great deal more. If there be any difficulties in the faith of Christ, they are not one-tenth as great as the absurdities in any system of unbelief which seeks to take its place.
giving heaven littles
There is nothing little in God; His mercy is like Himself-it is infinite. You cannot measure it. His mercy is so great that it forgives great sins to great sinners, after great lengths of time, and then gives great favours and great privileges, and raises us up to great enjoyments in the great heaven of the great God.