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funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funeral littles pay
Fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals, and follows them to the grave Charles Caleb Colton
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.
food
He who feasts every day, feasts no day. Charles Simmons
food mean wind
In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess. Dave Barry
food mean needs
We need a new definition of malnutrition. Malnutrition means under- and over-nutrition. Malnutrition means emaciated and obese. Catherine Bertini
food quality peppers
The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. Bryan Q. Miller
food phones power trees
The power is out, the phones are down and there is no food or water, and many trees are down. Kathleen Blanco
food
The slaves had food stamps, too. It was called 'scraps from Massa's table.' Niger Innis
food unhappy eating
It is harder to be unhappy when you are eating. Kurt Vonnegut
food yugoslavia pork
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. Ed Begley, Jr.
food poison virtue
Virtue, like wholesome food, is better than poisons, however corrected. David Hume
weight-loss willpower ready
If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight. Augusten Burroughs