Famous Quotes & Sayings

Al Roker

I've never been part of anything so great as those three kids.

Chief Joseph

My father... had sharper eyes than the rest of our people.

Dave Barry

The nicest Father's Day surprise of all for Dad would be if you handed him a box, and he unwrapped it, and there, inside, sitting on a bed of folded tissue, was the pair of his undershorts that somebody threw away six months ago (without asking Dad) because they had reached the stage where they were 3 percent undershorts and 97 percent holes. Dad misses those undershorts. They were his Faithful Undershorts Companion.

Dave Barry

Far too often, we fathers avoid the subject because it's so awkward. The subject I am referring to is: buying gifts for women. This is an area where many men do not have a clue. Exhibit A was my father, who was a very thoughtful man, but who once gave my mother, on their anniversary, the following token of his love, his commitment, and-yes-his passion for her: an electric blanket.

Bruce Williams

Never love anything that can't love you back.

Louis C. K.

Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can't dress and feed a four-year-old? Take it on!

Louis C. K.

When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.

Louis C. K.

I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.

August Strindberg

That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all.

Charles Dickens

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.

Alan Watts

A living body is not a fixed thing but a flowing event, like a flame or a whirlpool: the shape alone is stable, for the substance is a stream of energy going in at one end and out at the other. We are particularly and temporarily identifiable wiggles in a stream that enters us in the form of light, heat, air, water, milk, bread, fruit, beer, beef Stroganoff, caviar, and pate de foie gras. It goes out as gas and excrement - and also as semen, babies, talk, politics, commerce, war, poetry, and music. And philosophy.

Alan Watts

The difference between a baby and adult is that a baby believes in everything while the adult doubts everything. Babies also only tell the truth until they learn what a lie is.

Alan Jackson

I've had to live with women all my life. I grew up with four older sisters, and I was the baby and the only boy.

Alan Jackson

I'm hooked on my baby's love, there ain't nothing in the jug this strong.

Al Roker

In our society leaving baby with Daddy is just one step above leaving the kids to be raised by wolves or apes.

Al Pacino

Freedom, baby, is never having to say youre sorry.

Akhil Sharma

The little babies are missing their families from their past lives. The babies have old souls and the old souls have to shrink to become little babies. The tears loosen their memories so they can slide away. They cry at the life they have lost, and then they cry at everything they'll forget.

Chris Bohjalian

My wife and I would be very comfortable having a baby at home or using one of the terrific nurse-midwives at the hospital.

Charles Dickens

Champagne is one of the elegant extras in life.

Charles Caleb Colton

There is not a little generalship and stratagem required in the managing and marshalling of our pleasures, so that each shall not mutually encroach to the destruction of all. For pleasures are very voracious, too apt to worry one another, and each, like Aaron's serpent, is prone to swallow up the rest. Thus drinking will soon destroy the power, gaming the means, and sensuality the taste, for other pleasures less seductive, but far more salubrious, and permanent as they are pure.

Alain Robert

To me, climbing is like eating or drinking. I have to do it; it's part of my life.

Al Pacino

Drinking and smoking grass were a part of my life as far back as I can remember.

David Sedaris

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

Dave Barry

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

Dave Barry

Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.

Dave Barry

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

David Suzuki

Hydraulic fracturing requires massive amounts of water. Disposing of the toxic wastewater, as well as accidental spills, can contaminate drinking water and harm human health.