Famous Quotes & Sayings

Alan Bennett

Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin

Chris Brown

My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing.

Chloe Grace Moretz

My mom won't let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it's TK Maxx or a birthday occasion.

David Sedaris

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

Dave Barry

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

Dave Barry

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Dave Barry

Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!

Dave Barry

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

Catherine Bell

The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new.

Charles Dickens

This reminds me, Godmother, to ask you a serious question. You are as wise as wise can be (having been brought up by the fairies), and you can tell me this: Is it better to have had a good thing and lost it, or never to have had it?

Charles Caleb Colton

A wise man may be duped as well as a fool; but the fool publishes the triumph of the deceiver.

Charles Caleb Colton

It is a common observation that any fool can get money; but they are not wise that think so.

Charles Caleb Colton

If martyrdom is now on the decline, it is not because martyrs are less zealous, but because martyr-mongers are more wise. The light of intellect has put out the fire of persecution, as other fires are observed to smoulder before the light of the same.

Charles Caleb Colton

The art of declamation has been sinking in value from the moment that speakers were foolish enough to publish, and hearers wise enough to read.

Charles Caleb Colton

Power will intoxicate the best hearts, as wine the strongest heads. No man is wise enough, nor good enough to be trusted with unlimited power.

Charles Caleb Colton

Levity is often less foolish and gravity less wise than each of them appears.

Charles Caleb Colton

He that thinks he is the happiest man, really is so. But he that thinks he is the wisest, is generally the greatest fool.

Charles Caleb Colton

We must be careful how we flatter fools too little, or wise men too much, for the flatterer must act the very reverse of the physician, and administer the strongest dose only to the weakest patient.

Charles de Gaulle

It's better to have a bad plan then no plan at all.

Alfred P. Sloan

The final act of business judgment is intuitive.

Conan O'Brien

At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion dollars.'

Howard Gossage

If you have a lemon; make lemonade.

Mason Cooley

Warning: fortune cookies don't care what happens to you.

Neal Boortz

Most Americans don't know enough about basic economics to fill out one fortune cookie.

Henry David Thoreau

Wealth can't buy heath, but heath can buy wealth.

William J. Clinton

What you earn depends on what you learn.

Thom Yorke

I cannot read a fortune cookie without breaking down and crying. I am sensitive.