Famous Quotes & Sayings

Alan Bennett

Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin

Chris Brown

My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing.

Chloe Grace Moretz

My mom won't let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it's TK Maxx or a birthday occasion.

David Sedaris

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

Dave Barry

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

Dave Barry

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Dave Barry

Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!

Dave Barry

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

Catherine Bell

The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new.

Charles Dickens

Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies.

Charles Caleb Colton

Falsehood is often rocked by truth, but she soon outgrows her cradle and discards her nurse.

Charles Caleb Colton

Pride is less ashamed of being ignorant, than of being instructed, and she looks too high to find that, which very often lies beneath her.

Charles Caleb Colton

Ignorance lies at the bottom of all human knowledge, and the deeper we penetrate the nearer we arrive unto it. For what do we truly know, or what can we clearly affirm, of any one of those important things upon which all our reasonings must of necessity be built--time and space, life and death, matter and mind?

Charles Caleb Colton

Men of great and shining qualities do not always succeed in life, but the fault lies more often in themselves than in others.

Charles Dickens

The persons on whom I have bestowed my dearest love lie deep in their graves; but, although the happiness and delight of my life lie buried there too, I have not made a coffin of my heart, and sealed it up for ever on my best affections. Deep affliction has only made them stronger; it ought, I think, for it should refine our nature.

Charles Dickens

I mean a man whose hopes and aims may sometimes lie (as most men's sometimes do, I dare say) above the ordinary level, but to whom the ordinary level will be high enough after all if it should prove to be a way of usefulness and good service leading to no other. All generous spirits are ambitious, I suppose, but the ambition that calmly trusts itself to such a road, instead of spasmodically trying to fly over it, is of the kind I care for.

Charles Dickens

The boy was lying, fast asleep, on a rude bed upon the floor; so pale with anxiety, and sadness, and the closeness of his prison, that he looked like death; not death as it shews in shroud and coffin, but in the guise it wears when life has just departed; when a young and gentle spirit has, but an instant, fled to Heaven: and the gross air of the world has not had time to breathe upon the changing dust it hallowed.

Charles Dickens

Can I view thee panting, lying On thy stomach, without sighing; Can I unmoved see thee dying On a log Expiring frog!

Lance Lattin

We struggled to clog up the middle and prevent shots from outside the 18.

Kurt Vonnegut

Rabo Karabekian: I'm in the middle of a sentence. Circe Berman: Who isn't?.

Madeleine Albright

It takes more than one dove to make peace in the Middle East.

Randy Simmons

When I was a middle school principal it disgusts me, some of the things I had to work through at that young age.

Rodney Atkins

I think my songs are singing to the rural heart. It's not whether you're from a big city or the middle of nowhere in a small town.

Diane Sawyer

I get involved in the beginning, less in the middle, and very much at the end.

Anthony Rapp

Everyone tells us you really don't know what you're capable of till you're in the middle of it.

Bashar al-Assad

Syria is geographically and politically in the middle of the Middle East.

Jiggs Thomason

We treat it no differently than a rainout in the middle of the season. We never make up a points race.

David Mitchell

Who was blowing on the nape of my neck.

Charles Krauthammer

Better to be paralyzed from the neck down than the neck up

Djuna Barnes

After all, it is not where one washes one's neck that counts but where one moistens one's throat.

Kieran Culkin

They put me in a whole body suit, from my neck to my ankles. It was so bad, I couldn't straighten my legs.

Kate Winslet

When I was heavy, people would say to me - and it was such a backhanded compliment - they would say, 'You've got such a beautiful face,' in the way of, like, 'Oh, isn't it a shame that from the neck down you're questionable.'

Eli Wallach

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

Austin O'Malley

A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.

Dennis Cuneo

She really stuck her neck out for us politically, and we appreciated it.

Nina Garcia

I tend to wear leather pants with crew neck sweaters or leather jackets with denim.

Charles Caleb Colton

Flattery is often a traffic of mutual meanness, where although both parties intend deception, neither are deceived.

Charles Dickens

There can't be a quarrel without two parties, and I won't be one. I will be a friend to you in spite of you. So now you know what you've got to expect

Charles Dickens

Jarndyce and Jarndyce drones on. This scarecrow of a suit, has, in course of time, become so complicated that no man alive knows what it means. The parties to it understand it least; but it has been observed that no two Chancery lawyers can talk about it for five minutes, without coming to total disagreement as to all the premises.

Charles Dickens

I believe no satirist could breathe this air. If another Juvenal or Swift could rise up among us tomorrow, he would be hunted down. If you have any knowledge of our literature, and can give me the name of any man, American born and bred, who has anatomised our follies as a people, and not as this or that party; and who has escaped the foulest and most brutal slander, the most inveterate hatred and intolerant pursuit; it will be a strange name in my ears, believe me.

Charles Dickens

The plain rule is to do nothing in the dark, to be a party to nothing underhanded or mysterious, and never to put his foot where he cannot see the ground.

Alan Grayson

Many people, improperly, lump together libertarians and the Tea Parties. That's really wrong. Many of the libertarians are physicists, and many of the Tea Party people don't bathe. There's really not much in common there!

Alan Colmes

If what you are claiming is true, I would have shouted it from the rooftops. I would have gone to the authorities, the FBI, the police, the Democratic (Party) anybody that would listen. I wouldn't depend on one guy with the Department of Transportation.

Alan Arkin

That's what we're all doing, all the time, whether we know it or not. Whether we like it or not. Creating something on the spur of the moment with the materials at hand. We might just as well let the rest of it go, join the party, and dance our hearts out.

Al Sharpton

This is not about what party you're part of. This is about right and wrong, ... the conscience of this nation.

Charles Caleb Colton

It is astonishing how much more anxious people are to lengthen life than to improve it; and as misers often lose large sums of money in attempting to make more, so do hypochondriacs squander large sums of time in search of nostrums by which they vainly hope they may get more time to squander.

Charles Dickens

A multitude of people and yet solitude.

Charles Dickens

My faith in the people governing is, on the whole, infinitesimal; my faith in the people governed is, on the whole, illimitable.

Charles Dickens

Others had been a little wild, which was not to be wondered at, and not very blamable; but, he had made a lamentation and uproar which it was dangerous for the people to hear, as there is always contagion in weakness and selfishness.

Charles Dickens

Mrs. Boffin and me, ma'am, are plain people, and we don't want to pretend to anything, nor yet to go round and round at anything because there's always a straight way to everything.

Charles Dickens

Cleanliness is next to Godliness, and some people do the same by their religion.

Charles Dickens

I have heard it said that as we keep our birthdays when we are alive, so the ghosts of dead people, who are not easy in their graves, keep the day they died upon.

Charles Dickens

Some people are nobody's enemies but their own

Charles Soule

Superman/Wonder Woman, people expected, I guess, a lot of romance, or maybe something that wasnt emotionally deep. Who knows?

Charles Spurgeon

How gentle and tender ought we to be with others who are foolish when we remember how foolish we are ourselves

Charles Spurgeon

Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition. Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances. Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good.

Charles Spurgeon

Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there.

Alan Bennett

Remember. You are a physician. You are not a policeman nor are you a minister of religion. You must take people as they come. Remember, too that though you will generally know more about the condition than the patient, it is the patient who has the condition and this if nothing else bestows on him or her a kind of wisdom. You have the knowledge but that does not entitle you to be superior. Knowledge makes you the servant not the master.

Al Jourgensen

If you remember the ‘90s, you weren’t there.

Cesare Pavese

You dont remember days, you remember moments

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

I've always thought that we are what we remember, and the less we remember, the less we are.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Remember me, even if it's only in a corner and secretly. Don't let me go.

Cal Thomas

Not to remember 9/11, is to forget what brought it about.

Charles Caleb Colton

It is not so difficult a task to plant new truths, as to root out old errors; for there is this paradox in men, they run after that which is new, but are prejudiced in favor of that which is old.

Charles Caleb Colton

When all run by common consent into vice, none appear to do so.

Charles Caleb Colton

When all moves equally (says Pascal), nothing seems to move as in a vessel under sail; and when all run by common consent into vice, none appear to do so. He that stops first, views as from a fixed point the horrible extravagance that transports the rest.

Charles Caleb Colton

Some men are very entertaining for a first interview, but after that they are exhausted, and run out; on a second meeting we shall find them flat and monotonous; like hand-organs, we have heard all their tunes.

Charles Dickens

He had but one eye and the pocket of prejudice runs in favor of two.

Charles Dickens

I took a good deal o' pains with his eddication, sir; let him run in the streets when he was very young, and shift for hisself. It's the only way to make a boy sharp, sir.

Charles Studd

Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell, I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell.

Charles Stross

My gut feeling is that SF as we know it today is actually a heavily propagandized field that grew out of a specific set of cultural trends running in the USA and Europe between 1918 and 1950, during the post-imperial modernization period.

Charles Stross

Humans are not as unsophisticated as mulch wrigglers, they can see the writing on the wall. Is it any surprise, that among the ones who look outward, the real debate is not over whether to run, but over how far and how fast?

Charles Caleb Colton

There are many who say more than the truth on some occasions, and balance the account with their consciences by saying less than the truth on others. But the fact is that they are in both instances as fraudulant as he would be that exacted more than his due from his debtors, and paid less than their due to his creditors.

Raymond James

What they're saying is the conventional firms are waiting too long,

Benjamin Franklin

Saying and Doing, have quarrel'd and parted.

Tom Ferguson

We're just saying we want him to stay. He's saying he doesn't want any more than the teachers get.

Burke Stinson

We're just saying 'time out' to technology until the new year.

Cassie Johnson

We're getting a lot of e-mails saying they wish they could watch curling more often. They can't wait for Vancouver.

Anna Kendrick

The sneaker heels thing is a myth. They were saying, 'They're like sneakers.' No, they're like heels is what they're like. That's like saying a denim skirt is like jeans. It's not.

Daniel Handler

Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.

Frank Vargo

We've seen this movie before. What Treasury is saying is pretty much of a rerun of what it said back in May.

Hal Lindsey

Twenty years ago, I said there was going to be something that would stop the Soviet Union from taking over the world. And now we see that the Soviet Union has been stopped, through its own disintegration.

Elizabeth Wurtzel

I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I've had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.

Benjamin Franklin

At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wife; and at forty, the judgment.

Gordon Strachan

Twenty years. They've crept up on us. They've gone, just like that.

Bob Dylan

Twenty years of schoolin' / And they put you on the day shift.

Jane D. Hull

In twenty years, the Lottery has raised over $1.4 billion. It has been run successfully and efficiently.

Charles Dickens

The talker has found a hearer but not a listener; and though he may talk his very best for his own sake, you will find that his mental movements are erratic: they have no fixed centre and no definite object. His talk is like the water of a canal whose banks have given way, which rolls aimlessly hither and thither, without fulfilling any useful function, though it is the same water which was so helpful and serviceable, when it was confined within clearly marked limits by the restraining force of its earthy boundaries.

Alan Watts

You can't get wet from the word 'water.'

Alan Watts

Of course, you can’t force your mind to be silent. That would be like trying to smooth ripples in water with a flatiron. Water becomes clear and calm only when left alone.

David Miliband

I abhor anything that constitutes torture. Water-boarding, its perfectly clear to me it is torture. I never supported extraordinary rendition to torture, always said that Guantanamo should be closed. There is no clash of ideals and pragmatism there.

David Knopfler

My faith, inasmuch as I have any, is more like a kind of Joseph Campbell thing, and even that frequently finds itself tested to oblivion in siren waters.

Dave Barry

Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said Alf. “We can go days without food.” “We can what?” Tubby Ted shouted.

Dave Barry

Turbulence: This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in midair. You'll be flying along, and there will be an enormous, shuddering WHUMP, and clearly the plane has rammed into an airborne object at least the size of a water buffalo, and the pilot will say, "Folks, we're encountering a little turbulence." Meanwhile they are up there in the cockpit trying desperately to clean water buffalo organs off the windshield.

Dave Barry

I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar into the water is asking for trouble. Most of them have had their boats sitting in their driveways long enough to be registered historical landmarks.

David Stockman

I invest in anything that Bernanke can't destroy including Gold, canned beans, bottled water and flashlight batteries....

Mike Sanderson

It is a very windy, wet and wild part of the world.

Sandra Williams

It was so wet that we laughed. And that's what we've been doing ever since: laughing.

Harry Stockman

It will be wet off and on through Wednesday.

Harry Stockman

It's going to be wet off and on.

Seamus Heaney

The bogholes might be Atlantic seepage. The wet centre is bottomless.