Famous Quotes & Sayings

Alan Hansen

I always wanted to be a golfer, only I realised that if I'd played golf I would have been skint.

David Leadbetter

Is there such a thing as a technically perfect swing? If there is, I have yet to see it.

David Leadbetter

Your final goal is to convert your athletic swing to pure instinct rather than conscious thought.

Dave Barry

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

Dave Barry

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.

Dave Barry

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

Dave Barry

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Dave Barry

Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Buddy Hackett

Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.

Charles Caleb Colton

False reasoners are often best confuted by giving them the full swing of their own absurdities.

Buddy Rich

But primarily, the drummer's supposed to sit back there and swing the band.

Charles Krauthammer

For liberals, the observation that 'the peasants are revolting' is a pun. For conservatives, it is cause for uncharacteristic optimism. No matter how far the ideological pendulum swings in the short term, in the end the bedrock common sense of the American people will prevail.

Eddie Izzard

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?

David Duval

I slowly continued to compensate for the physical problems I was having and ended up completely destroying my swing, my set-up, my posture. Everything was gone.

Arnold Palmer

Swing your swing. I know, I did.

Ed Gillespie

Politics swings like a pendulum.

Carlos Beltran

I like to be aggressive. I like to swing the bat.

Charlie Parker

I don't care who likes it or buys it. Because if you use that criterion, Mozart would never have written Don Giovanni, Charlie Parker would have never played anything but swing music.

Charles Dickens

'Do you spell it with a 'V' or a 'W'?' inquired the judge. 'That depends upon the taste and fancy of the speller, my Lord'.

Charles Caleb Colton

"Lawyers Are": The only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from (amongst) themselves.

Alanis Morissette

In my life, anyway, anytime that I judge something to be rigidly right or wrong, it comes from fear.

Alanis Morissette

I would never judge someone's intrigue with the spoils of fame, because I went through that.

David Sedaris

They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.

Dave Barry

Happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations...

Carl Sagan

Don't judge everyone else by your own limited experience.

William Shakespeare

There is a devilish mercy in the judge, if you'll implore it, that will free your life, but fetter you till death.

William Shakespeare

Gently to hear, kindly to judge.